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C3007011 It was too weak to cry, but its eyes screamed for help part2

admin79 by admin79
July 31, 2025
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C3007011 It was too weak to cry, but its eyes screamed for help part2

The strangest car publicity photos ever published

Most official press photos just do their job quietly. Nice positioning and lighting, show the car off at its best, and you’re done. But these ones… not so much

Autocar

by Autocar

30 July 2025

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  • You may not even be aware of official promotional images.Slide 1 of 37You may not even be aware of official promotional images.But believe us, you’ve seen tens of thousands in your time on earth. While publishers like Autocar have teams of in-house photographers who help to illustrate our review and group test stories, all car companies also issue photos taken by themselves to help illustrate new cars, both at rest and on the move. And most of the time they do their job perfectly well.However, some publicity offices and marketing departments over the years have let their imaginations run wild, often with unintentionally hilarious results – and we all need a laugh right now, let’s face it. Here, then, is our light-hearted look at some of the best we’ve ever seen:
  • Amphicar 770Slide 1 of 37Amphicar 770The Amphicar was an amphibious car built between 1960 and 1965, built in Germany by the Quandt family, which also owned (and still owns a large chunk of) BMW. One wag in period stated that the car “promised to revolutionise drowning”, and in truth we wouldn’t want to go anywhere near the water in this thing in anything stronger than a light breeze.But as this picture showed, maybe it could have been a nice fishing boat in suitable circumstances…
  • Austin MaestroSlide 1 of 37Austin MaestroThere are indeed three Maestros in this picture. But the third one is a person, who has his own personal number plate to, er, read from.
  • Austin MaestroSlide 1 of 37Austin MaestroThey certainly were an imaginative lot in the Austin Rover press office in the 1980s. We think they’re trying to point out how much interior space was available in the car in this one, but in truth, who knows?
  • BMW 700Slide 1 of 37BMW 700“Hey ad people, how can we promote our new 700 Convertible?”“We just have some people in it waving to a bunch of people leading some heavily-laden donkeys up a hill.”“Where do I sign?”
  • BMW 2002Slide 1 of 37BMW 2002BMW is based in Munich, the city in southern Germany that’s the capital of the state of Bavaria. And this is the traditional dress there. So we guess this picture makes sense, sort of.
  • BMW IsettaSlide 1 of 37BMW IsettaBMW nearly collapsed after the second world war. There was no longer much demand for its warplane engines, and nobody in Germany had any money to pay for cars. So it made sense to build the ultra-cheap Isetta microcar, produced under licence from Italian firm Iso.What makes less sense is holding what looks like an Isetta product launch during a wedding.
  • BMW IsettaSlide 1 of 37BMW IsettaAnd talking of sense… Can you think of a better way to spend the first moments of married life than driving off in a claustrophobic contraption that takes 30 seconds to get to 30mph? We absolutely can’t.
  • Chevrolet Roadster TruckSlide 1 of 37Chevrolet Roadster TruckEnough of those whacky Germans, how about the Americans? Well, they got started early, as in this shot from 1930. I think they’re trying to say that the truck is a perfect vehicle to putt from, and we’re sure any golf course would be delighted to have a heavy Chevy driving all over their greens.
  • Chevrolet Bel AirSlide 1 of 37Chevrolet Bel AirA group of friends get together in the 1950s to admire someone’s new Chevy in someone’s driveway. Except they’re not in a driveway – you can see the ceiling of the studio at the top of the photo.
  • Chevrolet CorvairSlide 1 of 37Chevrolet Corvair“So how about we get a flock of doves together with our new Chevy, with a lady in a nice white dress staring at some weird stuck-up English guy with an umbrella?”“Why on earth not?”
  • Chevrolet CorvetteSlide 1 of 37Chevrolet CorvetteThe best way to promote the new ‘Vette is obviously to get a nice couple driving along, passing another couple on a tandem.
  • Chevrolet Chevette (1978)Slide 1 of 37Chevrolet Chevette (1978)“Let’s get a school marching band together, and get a large boy with a giant tuba thing to take centre stage, being hassled by a smaller boy. Surely there can be no better way to promote our small car.”
  • Citroën GSSlide 1 of 37Citroën GSThe GS was never sold in America, so it obviously makes perfect sense to promote the car on a Western movie set.
  • Citroën DyaneSlide 1 of 37Citroën DyaneSo much fun going on here. The lady on the left threatening people with a bunch of flowers. The strange dude at the back. And the guy with a red barrel under his arm.
  • Citroën MehariSlide 1 of 37Citroën MehariGiven the age of the guy driving and the environment, we think this is a depiction of a driving test – but we’re fairly sure French policemen didn’t and don’t host these so who knows what’s happening here?
  • Ford Cortina Crayford ConvertibleSlide 1 of 37Ford Cortina Crayford Convertible“Yoohoo. Yes, I wanted to say hello and alert you to the fact that my husband has entered a competition for wearing the widest flares of 1979.”
  • Ford AngliaSlide 1 of 37Ford AngliaWe are firmly of the opinion that this photo was staged in a studio near Dagenham, not in the foothills of the Swiss Alps.
  • Ford Consul ClassicSlide 1 of 37Ford Consul Classic“Hey guys, we need a way to show the huge boot on our new Consul Classic? Any ideas?”“Hold my beer.”
  • Ford Cortina EstateSlide 1 of 37Ford Cortina EstateWhat better way to show off the load-bearing capacity of a new car than to cram in a large outboard motor and a beautiful woman?
  • Honda CivicSlide 1 of 37Honda Civic“I have just caught the world’s largest fish, but you lot are only interested in this new Japanese runabout.”
  • Plymouth Belvedere (1967)Slide 1 of 37Plymouth Belvedere (1967)“We’ll just use a nice looking couple, as usual. But in a twist, we’ll have her holding a large pink ball on the bonnet.”“Perfect.”
  • Lada 1200Slide 1 of 37Lada 1200“Are you sure it’s OK to have a picnic in this safari park Dave? It’s just I’m sure I read something about there being lions and leopards wandering about as well as giraffes?”
  • Lada clothingSlide 1 of 37Lada clothingNot embarrassed enough about driving clapped-out Soviet re-treads of obsolete Fiats? Well you can now wear your lifestyle too.
  • MazdaSlide 1 of 37Mazda“I need an out of the box idea to promote our exciting new Mazda – what have you got?”“How about a guy who’s so excited by it that he’s actually fallen asleep?”
  • Morris OxfordSlide 1 of 37Morris OxfordWe like to think ‘lifestyle marketing’ is a new thing, but Morris was doing it back in the 1950s. Clearly the perfect car for mountaineering.
  • Opel MantaSlide 1 of 37Opel Manta“I think to do this nautical theme properly we need the guy to dress up in a sailor suit.”
  • Peugeot 205Slide 1 of 37Peugeot 205A lady shows off her Tupperware collection on the bonnet of a 205. We have literally no idea what the thinking was in this one.
  • Renault Sport SpiderSlide 1 of 37Renault Sport SpiderRenault was big in Formula One racing when the company launched this oddball sports car in 1996, so why not have a pit crew attend to its every need?
  • Renault Scenic ConceptSlide 1 of 37Renault Scenic Concept“Hey Jean, look at my new concept car that previews a new compact MPV that will save Renault’s bacon in a few years’ time.”“Never mind all that Nicole, check out this old skull me and Henri have found.”
  • Simca VedetteSlide 1 of 37Simca VedetteLifestyle marketing, with a twist. No mountaineering or surfer dude antics for Simca. Nope, this car is for taking your morning’s supplies of milk to market.
  • Skoda 1000 MBSlide 1 of 37Skoda 1000 MBThe happy couple look pleased enough with their purchase, but can’t help thinking the guys at the back are ruminating over something on the back of this rear-engined car.
  • Triumph HeraldSlide 1 of 37Triumph Herald“Sir, we are convinced you are trying to smuggle drugs into the United Kingdom, using your family man look as an elaborate cover.”
  • Triumph StagSlide 1 of 37Triumph StagIt is perhaps obvious to use a medieval jousting re-enactment to promote our new sports car.
  • Volvo AmazonSlide 1 of 37Volvo Amazon“We have a new Swedish car to launch, so let’s get a load of English gentlemen with hats and umbrellas together to get the image we’re after.”
  • Volkswagen 181Slide 1 of 37Volkswagen 181The 181 – which was called The Thing in America – was the civilian version of a car originally built for the West German army. We know this photo is of its time, but we can’t help thinking that virtually everything going on here is a bad accident waiting to happen.
  • Volkswagen BeetleSlide 1 of 37Volkswagen Beetle“The Beetle has been on sale for so long that we’ve totally run out of ideas about how to promote it. Any ideas?”“Let’s just turn the car upside down and see what happens?”“Sehr gut!”If you enjoyed this story, sign up to Autocar’s newsletter for all the best car news, reviews and opinion direct to your inbox. Click here to subscribe.
You may not even be aware of official promotional images.
Amphicar 770
Austin Maestro
Austin Maestro
BMW 700
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